Urquidi - birch forest idea
goma and sio
salt n sesame
R. C. Harris from Imperial
The rejection from Dr. Keck adds to this feeling, the growing chip on my shoulder…. of people not giving a shit, not caring… I more or less resolved that socially (or so i’d like to think) but now this feeling, of inadequecy…. an inkling of Kuyashii.
The odds of me getting the OIST internship are slim….
The odds of me getting a place for medicine are slim….
The odds of me getting into Humboldt M&B are slim.
It’s time for me to make myself the person that can push. A forceful person, who decides and does.
This is the consequence of passivity and mindless self indulgence.
NOW TO BE MINDFUL
NOW TO BE POWERFUL
NOW TO BECOME UNDENIABLE
After the Transience, after the freedom, I now have the opportunity to “Dig In” to what I want over the next two weeks. As well as to kick off my opportunities in medicine….
Let’s maintain the benefits, and progress. Determination, and feel the chip on the shoulder. BE UNDENIABLE.
The conflict comes from the question of whether I’m at the right age for this. Am I denying myself? Deberia estar gozando?
I think the clear answer is to follow my feelings, and intuition, without allowing myself to become mired in guilt - the path should not lead to a state of suffering, nor should it pass through one.
That is not to say it should be easy. Freedom from suffering does not entail an absence of challenge.