All you have to do is respond to the same individual in a fresh, healthy way. Simply observe how you feel if you used to lash out, attack, go into silent mode, retreat, or degrade. You can then choose how you speak to the other person with a high level of self-awareness. You alone, and no one else, have complete control over your reactions. No one has the power to “make” you angry, yell, or say harsh or disrespectful things. You have complete control over every word that comes out of your mouth, and no one else does.
Use the letter “I” to start your sentences. “I know you can communicate better than that,” for example. Alternatively, “I’m not sure what you’re getting at, and I’d like to know more. Could you kindly tell me how you’re feeling?” “I understand how you feel; I’ve felt the same way many times before,” or “I’ve felt the same way many times before.”
In other words, rather of having an ego battle, you are relating to the other person. A lot of the misunderstanding will dissipate if you talk honestly and truly, just as you would to your closest and best friend. If you focus on new insight rather than old drama, you will achieve precisely that - new understanding! This feels a lot better than the negative drama that isn’t getting one of them anywhere. BEFORE you say anything, consider what is about to come out of your mouth and ask yourself if you would like it if the other person said the same thing to you. This is what leads to actual communication between individuals, because everyone wants to be understood.