• The Work of Byron Katie

    http://thework.com/thework-jyn.php

  • Judge your neighbor worksheet

    Think of a recurring stressful situation, a situation that is reliably stressful even though it may have happened only once and recurs only in your mind. As you answer each of the questions below, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place of the stressful occurrence.

  • Examples

  • The four questions

    Now investigate each of the above statements using the four questions. Always give yourself time to let the deeper
    answers meet the questions.

    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
  • Turn the thought around

    Then turn each thought around. For the turnaround to number 6, replace the words “I don’t ever want to …” with “I am willing to …” and “I look forward to …” Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done.

  • Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how
    each turnaround is true for you in this situation.

  • 1. In this situation, time, and location, who angers, confuses, or disappoints you, and why?

  • I am … with … because …

    Example

    I am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me about his health.

    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    1. to the self.
    2. to the other.
    3. to the opposite
  • 2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?

  • I want … to …

    Example

    I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself

    If no, move to 3.

    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    1. to the self.
    2. to the other.
    3. to the opposite
  • 3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?

  • … should/shouldn’t …

    Example

    Paul should take a deep breath. He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me. He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack.

    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    1. to the self.
    2. to the other.
    3. to the opposite
  • 4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?

  • I need … to …

    Example

    I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right.

    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    1. to the self.
    2. to the other.
    3. to the opposite
  • 5. What do you think of them in this situation?

  • … is:

    Example

    Paul is:

    • unfair
    • arrogant
    • loud
    • dishonest
    • way out of line
    • unconscious
    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    1. to the self.
    2. to the other.
    3. to the opposite
  • 6. What is it in or about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?

  • I don’t ever want …

    Example

    I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again

    1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)
    3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    1. to the self.
    2. to the other.
    3. to the opposite
{"cards":[{"_id":"3bf4ff0d2eac67a0a3000042","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":0.5,"parentId":null,"content":"# The Work of Byron Katie\nhttp://thework.com/thework-jyn.php"},{"_id":"3bf4db622eac67a0a3000020","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":null,"content":"# Judge your neighbor worksheet\nThink of a recurring stressful situation, a situation that is reliably stressful even though it may have happened only once and recurs only in your mind. As you answer each of the questions below, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place of the stressful occurrence. "},{"_id":"3bf4d1172eac67a0a3000018","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":6,"parentId":"3bf4db622eac67a0a3000020","content":"## 1. In this situation, time, and location, who angers, confuses, or disappoints you, and why?"},{"_id":"3bf4d7ed2eac67a0a300001d","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4d1172eac67a0a3000018","content":"## 2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do? "},{"_id":"3bf4d9372eac67a0a300001f","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4d7ed2eac67a0a300001d","content":"## 3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?"},{"_id":"3bf4df072eac67a0a3000022","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":2,"parentId":"3bf4d9372eac67a0a300001f","content":"## 4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do? "},{"_id":"3bf4ddea2eac67a0a3000021","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4df072eac67a0a3000022","content":"## 5. What do you think of them in this situation?"},{"_id":"3bf4df7a2eac67a0a3000023","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":2,"parentId":"3bf4ddea2eac67a0a3000021","content":"## 6. What is it in or about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?"},{"_id":"3eb74e58561360704600005d","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1.2734375,"parentId":null,"content":"## Examples"},{"_id":"3bf4d4f22eac67a0a300001a","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb74e58561360704600005d","content":"I am ... with ... because ...\n\n#### Example\nI am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me about his health."},{"_id":"3bf4e3ec2eac67a0a3000029","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4d4f22eac67a0a300001a","content":"I want ... to ...\n\n#### Example\nI want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself\n\n#### If no, move to 3."},{"_id":"3bf4e35b2eac67a0a3000028","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4e3ec2eac67a0a3000029","content":"... should/shouldn't ...\n\n#### Example\nPaul should take a deep breath. He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me. He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack. "},{"_id":"3bf4e2ef2eac67a0a3000027","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4e35b2eac67a0a3000028","content":"I need ... to ...\n\n#### Example\nI need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right."},{"_id":"3bf4e0252eac67a0a3000024","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4e2ef2eac67a0a3000027","content":"... is:\n\n+ ...\n+ ...\n+ ...\n\n#### Example\nPaul is:\n\n+ unfair\n+ arrogant\n+ loud\n+ dishonest\n+ way out of line\n+ unconscious"},{"_id":"3bf4e19d2eac67a0a3000025","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4e0252eac67a0a3000024","content":"I don't ever want ...\n\n#### Example\nI don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again"},{"_id":"3bf4e7d32eac67a0a300002a","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1.57421875,"parentId":null,"content":"# The four questions\nNow investigate each of the above statements using the four questions. Always give yourself time to let the deeper \nanswers meet the questions.\n\n1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3eb76503561360704600005e","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4e7d32eac67a0a300002a","content":"1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3eb76575561360704600005f","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76503561360704600005e","content":"1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3eb765865613607046000060","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76575561360704600005f","content":"1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3eb765915613607046000061","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb765865613607046000060","content":"1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3eb7659d5613607046000062","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb765915613607046000061","content":"1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3eb765a85613607046000063","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb7659d5613607046000062","content":"1. Is it true? (yes or no, if no move to 3)\n2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (yes or no)\n3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?\n4. Who would you be without the thought?"},{"_id":"3bf4eb992eac67a0a3000031","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":4,"parentId":null,"content":"# Turn the thought around\nThen turn each thought around. For the turnaround to number 6, replace the words “I don’t ever want to ...” with “I am willing to ...” and “I look forward to ...” Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done."},{"_id":"3eb76c275613607046000064","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3bf4eb992eac67a0a3000031","content":"1. to the self.\n2. to the other.\n3. to the opposite "},{"_id":"3eb76c335613607046000065","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76c275613607046000064","content":"1. to the self.\n2. to the other.\n3. to the opposite "},{"_id":"3eb76c3d5613607046000066","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76c335613607046000065","content":"1. to the self.\n2. to the other.\n3. to the opposite "},{"_id":"3eb76c465613607046000067","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76c3d5613607046000066","content":"1. to the self.\n2. to the other.\n3. to the opposite "},{"_id":"3eb76c4f5613607046000068","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76c465613607046000067","content":"1. to the self.\n2. to the other.\n3. to the opposite "},{"_id":"3eb76c585613607046000069","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":1,"parentId":"3eb76c4f5613607046000068","content":"1. to the self.\n2. to the other.\n3. to the opposite "},{"_id":"3eb76d62561360704600006a","treeId":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","seq":1,"position":4.5,"parentId":null,"content":"Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how \neach turnaround is true for you in this situation. "}],"tree":{"_id":"3bf4d1032eac67a0a3000016","name":"Judge your neighbor worksheet","publicUrl":"judge-your-neighbor-worksheet"}}