Think of a recurring stressful situation, a situation that is reliably stressful even though it may have happened only once and recurs only in your mind. As you answer each of the questions below, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place of the stressful occurrence.
Now investigate each of the above statements using the four questions. Always give yourself time to let the deeper
answers meet the questions.
Then turn each thought around. For the turnaround to number 6, replace the words “I don’t ever want to …” with “I am willing to …” and “I look forward to …” Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done.
Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how
each turnaround is true for you in this situation.
I am … with … because …
I am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me about his health.
I want … to …
I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself
… should/shouldn’t …
Paul should take a deep breath. He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me. He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack.
I need … to …
I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right.
… is:
Paul is:
I don’t ever want …
I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again