I’m not sure i have all the answers about life. Actually, i know i don’t. But i believe, that when we share all our experiences, that we discover more about ourselves, and by doing so, we form a collective conscience.
Recently, i lost my young nephew to suicide. To say i was sad is putting it lightly. I was devastated. In those darkest of hours, i reached out for help, because i couldn’t make sense of life anymore. I was angry, heartbroken, and i began wondering what the purpose of life was, if nothing could make sense.
Then, a funny thing happened. In reaching out, the universe responded in kind. Messages of love and support came pouring in from people i knew and people that i didn’t know. I was astounded. To say the least, i felt as if invisible arms were holding me up, helping me bear the weight of the incredible and overwhleming grief i was going through.
I must have read the heartfelt messages of love, and support, over and over. Soon, i began feeling as if i was going through a catharsis, and that was just what i needed to get up, and keep going in this thing called ‘life’.
It is no mistake that from an early age, I would write everyday and that I would devour books. I loved reading so much, with everybook I read, I would find the solace I yearned for. For hours on end I would escape to another world.
Through the years, technology exploded with computers, then cellphones, and of course, the Internet. Because of this, I stopped writing and then after a while, I stopped reading books. It seemed as if the Internet had taken over not just my life, but that of so many others as well.
We have become disconnected towards each other in reality yet, through the Internet, we find ourselves caught in the spell of a cyberworld.
The irony is that the Internet has enabled so many of us in ways we could never have imagined. Everything is at our fingertips. But there’s one thing that it could never replace, and that is the closeness we share when we are with a good friend sharing a hot drink, and talking late into the night. I miss this so much that at times, the sadness overwhelms me.
We have forgotten the most essential part of life. Closeness. Hanging out with a dear friend and making the most of our days or going out with a group of friends for the night. I don’t know about you, but for me, it has become non existent.
I believe now that because of this, it has impacted my life in such a negative way.
When I think back to the young and carefree woman I used to be, the longing to find that happy and carefree girl seems completely out of reach. I miss her so much. I am desperate to find her again, before I leave this world, that is my one goal.
If it seems to you that this is deppressing, that’s because you too then, have something in your life that you want, or need, to fix. So if you want to join my journey, then you are more than welcome to do so.
When we are in our twenties, there seems to be a whole tapestry before us, waiting to be woven. I still remember when I got my first job working downtown. I would wake early in the morning, and catch the bus. Once downtown, I walked through a pedway, people in their business rushing past me and I was completely amazed that I was one of them. As I made my way around, I remember the aroma of coffee reaching me, I followed it and when I found its source, I was struck by all of the business people in there. Most were reading the paper at the small, coffe shop tables, a hot coffee on the table, waiting to be enjoyed.
It was my first time being in such a place and here I was, someone who had never drank coffee before! As I look back, I laugh to myself thinking how innocent and naive I must have looked.
I think that’s why through the years I fell in love with coffee. To me, sitting alone with a hot coffee while I write or read, is what I consider sacred to me. It is my time. And yes, I am very selfish with it!
Finding our sacred space is what I believe to be the most important thing we can do for ourselves. We’ve all read how stress is at an all time high and the devastating effects it has on us as a society.
While there are a plethora of books, seminars, and videos on how to reduce stress in our lives, it seems that there has been no headway to reduce stress enough to have made an