J: What do you mean cats aren’t mammals?

A: Mammmmmals. They’re not.

J: They are.

A: Please, they don’t even breathe through their noses. You know how you can tell?

J: What? You can’t —

A: You want to know?

J: That’s not even how being a mammal is—


J: Fine! How do you know they don’t breathe through their noses?

A: Because they don’t have blowholes.

J: … Whales have blowholes.

A: Dolphins have blowholes.

J: So do whales — look this isn’t about that. Cats don’t have blow holes—

A: That is exactly what I just told you, blowhole.

J: Did you just — did you call me a blowhole?

A: It takes a real blowhole to sit there and insist “cats” are “mammals”.

J: Do you even know what a mammal is?

A: I can’t hear you over your blowhole. I swear to Jewish Jesus you’d argue that a tomato isn’t a fruit.

J: It’s a vegetable. A tomato. It’s a vegetable.