• Book One: Two Falls in Autumn

  • Prologue

  • Chapter One

  • Chapter Two

  • Chapter Three

  • Chapter Four

  • Chapter Five

  • Chapter Six

  • Chapter Seven

  • Chapter Eight

  • Chapter Nine

  • (1)

  • (2) Mouth

  • (3) Serpent

  • (4) Passage

  • Introduction to the case
    Meet Inspector Nebbins
    Establish Vincent’s “world”

  • Further notes on case
    First clues

  • Dream sequence/backstory building
    Further worldbuilding

  • First investigation
    Questioning witnesses
    Further worldbuilding

  • (theorized)
    Fight sequence/first conflict with external forces

  • Discussion with Nebbins/more relationship-building.
    Plot points introduced (identity switch by Hazletons, hints at connections with bigger fish).

  • Theoretically, Vincent’s death (raindrops keep falling… is a leitmotif) and first brush with Heaven before judgment. This scene needs massive reworking, should be more compact, and should introduce several foreshadowed clues (the scents of angels). As is this scene is almost excisable however save for the planted angel clue and the early hint of Vincent’s death. I would like to de-emphasize Heaven as much as possible for the reveal to have more impact later in the series.

  • Vincent is processed, digested basically, into Hell, in the first poetic interlude. We learn that Hell removes traces of former identity.

  • Pilgrimage through the barren lands prior to Hell proper. Our first (subtle) encounter with Lethe water, whose effects are mentioned but which is not at this point identified.

  • Vincent’s transition across the river to Hell proper, meeting the ferryman. Current incarnation is a bit too whimsical. Give it a darker, more somber feel on the rewrite. This scene is somewhat unnecessary but the character of the Ferryman is interesting, as is Vincent’s trip from Point B to Point C (Hell itself). Opportunity for world-building (not to mention, effective padding).

  • A walk through Hell. This section’s descriptions may need punching-up.

    Meet Nebbins (name not final), liaison for Vincent and the Yard throughout the series.

    Introduction to the first case.

  • Police file on the Epson case, read by Vincent and establishing foundation of the case at hand. We learn a little about Vincent’s investigative process: thorough; we learn also that the lead detective has not questioned (or at least, not documented) any witnesses. Why was this not noticed when the case was closed? Likely nobody cared?

  • Vincent’s vague memories of his past life resurface in dream-language. Hints at Vincent’s past, or at least his death.

  • Hazleton leaves in order supposedly to obtain something for Vincent. Vincent notices that he has some sort of new-style phone with buttons under the dial; one of them lights up (Hazleton is making a call on an extension). Vincent continues to investigate the apartment, gets some information from Mrs. Hazleton (they don’t seem to belong in Limbo). Clues? When he leaves, he is accosted by thugs.

    We will later learn that Hazleton arranged for the apartment/Limbo transfer with the corrupt Yard member, the Lead detective from the case. This detective is later found dead in a subsequent chapter. Murdered to sever his connection to the killer who pulled the strings for him in return for the Lead detective’s silence after his investigation. Why was he left alive in the first place? Because his death would attract too much attention at the time, until he had left the Yard in pursuit of further corrupt activities.

  • Vincent is questioned and threatened by two thugs and winds up finding out more than they do. There is a fight sequence and both of the thugs wind up dead (or… just one of them and the other one bested by Vincent? Can we question one of them for a lead, later on?)

  • Hazleton & wife have stolen identities; they don’t even belong in Limbo (who arranged the switch of their “damnation status” to allow them to travel? Who arranged the thugs?) - tenuous links to bigger players revealed by Nebbins. We may discover a hint that the Lead Detective was withholding evidence? Where does Vincent go from here- needs another lead to follow.

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Our first (subtle) encounter with Lethe water, whose effects are mentioned but which is not at this point identified."},{"_id":"46cc6b0c613485135000001f","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388208,"position":4,"parentId":"46b6dcd86134851350000011","content":"(4) Passage"},{"_id":"46e0b5f92aca153539000023","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":394099,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc6b0c613485135000001f","content":"Vincent's transition across the river to Hell proper, meeting the ferryman. Current incarnation is a bit too whimsical. Give it a darker, more somber feel on the rewrite. This scene is somewhat unnecessary but the character of the Ferryman is interesting, as is Vincent's trip from Point B to Point C (Hell itself). Opportunity for world-building (not to mention, effective padding)."},{"_id":"46b6e1256134851350000017","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":376801,"position":1.5,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter One"},{"_id":"46cc6b646134851350000020","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388212,"position":1,"parentId":"46b6e1256134851350000017","content":"Introduction to the case\nMeet Inspector Nebbins\nEstablish Vincent's \"world\""},{"_id":"46e0a6c72aca15353900001e","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":394079,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc6b646134851350000020","content":"A walk through Hell. This section's descriptions may need punching-up.\n\nMeet Nebbins (name not final), liaison for Vincent and the Yard throughout the series.\n\nIntroduction to the first case."},{"_id":"46b6e1606134851350000018","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":376802,"position":1.75,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Two\n"},{"_id":"46cc6c986134851350000021","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388213,"position":1,"parentId":"46b6e1606134851350000018","content":"Further notes on case\nFirst clues"},{"_id":"46e0a8a62aca15353900001f","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":394082,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc6c986134851350000021","content":"Police file on the Epson case, read by Vincent and establishing foundation of the case at hand. We learn a little about Vincent's investigative process: thorough; we learn also that the lead detective has not questioned (or at least, not documented) any witnesses. Why was this not noticed when the case was closed? Likely nobody cared?"},{"_id":"46b6e1896134851350000019","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":376803,"position":1.875,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Three"},{"_id":"46cc6d846134851350000022","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388216,"position":1,"parentId":"46b6e1896134851350000019","content":"Dream sequence/backstory building\nFurther worldbuilding"},{"_id":"46e0a5322aca15353900001d","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":394074,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc6d846134851350000022","content":"Vincent's vague memories of his past life resurface in dream-language. Hints at Vincent's past, or at least his death."},{"_id":"46b6e1d4613485135000001a","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":376804,"position":1.9375,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Four"},{"_id":"46cc6eab6134851350000023","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388219,"position":1,"parentId":"46b6e1d4613485135000001a","content":"First investigation\nQuestioning witnesses\nFurther worldbuilding"},{"_id":"46e097a32aca15353900001b","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":394063,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc6eab6134851350000023","content":"Hazleton leaves in order supposedly to obtain something for Vincent. Vincent notices that he has some sort of new-style phone with buttons under the dial; one of them lights up (Hazleton is making a call on an extension). Vincent continues to investigate the apartment, gets some information from Mrs. Hazleton (they don't seem to belong in Limbo). Clues? When he leaves, he is accosted by thugs.\n\nWe will later learn that Hazleton arranged for the apartment/Limbo transfer with the corrupt Yard member, the Lead detective from the case. This detective is later found dead in a subsequent chapter. Murdered to sever his connection to the killer who pulled the strings for him in return for the Lead detective's silence after his investigation. Why was he left alive in the first place? Because his death would attract too much attention at the time, until he had left the Yard in pursuit of further corrupt activities."},{"_id":"46b6e21d613485135000001b","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":376805,"position":1.96875,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Five"},{"_id":"46cc6fa16134851350000024","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388220,"position":1,"parentId":"46b6e21d613485135000001b","content":"(theorized)\nFight sequence/first conflict with external forces"},{"_id":"46e0a2202aca15353900001c","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":394068,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc6fa16134851350000024","content":"Vincent is questioned and threatened by two thugs and winds up finding out more than they do. There is a fight sequence and both of the thugs wind up dead (or... just one of them and the other one bested by Vincent? Can we question one of them for a lead, later on?)"},{"_id":"46cc70786134851350000025","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388221,"position":1.984375,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Six"},{"_id":"47c44ae38afaa3d64e000024","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":506095,"position":1,"parentId":"46cc70786134851350000025","content":"Discussion with Nebbins/more relationship-building.\nPlot points introduced (identity switch by Hazletons, hints at connections with bigger fish). "},{"_id":"47cb7542149892e014000025","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":506097,"position":1,"parentId":"47c44ae38afaa3d64e000024","content":"Hazleton & wife have stolen identities; they don't even belong in Limbo (who arranged the switch of their \"damnation status\" to allow them to travel? Who arranged the thugs?) - tenuous links to bigger players revealed by Nebbins. We may discover a hint that the Lead Detective was withholding evidence? Where does Vincent go from here- needs another lead to follow. "},{"_id":"46cc73bc6134851350000026","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388226,"position":1.9921875,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Seven"},{"_id":"46cc73fb6134851350000027","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388227,"position":1.99609375,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Eight"},{"_id":"46cc74316134851350000028","treeId":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","seq":388228,"position":1.998046875,"parentId":"46b6d8d4613485135000000f","content":"Chapter Nine"}],"tree":{"_id":"46b6d8a3613485135000000d","name":"Vincent Park and his Demon","publicUrl":"vincent-park-and-his-demon"}}